Domestic Violence Information
Love is respect. Love is kindness. Love is equal. Love never hurts.
Domestic Violence is defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. The abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual, financial, or psychological. It is abusive when actions, behaviors, or threats of actions manipulate another person to do things they would not normally do or submit to actions they would not choose. No one ever deserves to be abused by their partner or anyone they love.
Warning Signs of Domestic Violence
It’s important to recognize the signs of abuse. At the start of a new relationship, it can be difficult to tell if it will later become abusive. In fact, in the early stages of the relationship, it may feel like an ideal and “normal” relationship. Warning signs don’t always appear overnight and may emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.
It’s important to remember that domestic violence cases can look different and that every relationship is not the same. It’s important to remember that all domestic violence is rooted in one partner trying to gain power and control over the other partner. Once that power and control is obtained, they will do anything to keep it. This abuse can happen through many different methods and at different moments.
Common Signs
- Constantly putting you down
- Showing extreme jealousy of your friends or time spent away from them
- Guilting you into canceling plans or calling out of work
- Preventing or discouraging you from spending time with friends, family members, or peers (also known as isolation)
- Controlling finances in the household without discussion, including taking your money or refusing to provide money for necessary expenses. (Learn more about financial abuse)
- Pressuring you to have sex or perform sexual acts you’re not comfortable with
- Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol
- Intimidating you through threatening looks or actions
- Insulting your parenting or threatening to harm or take away your children or pets
- Intimidating you with weapons such as guns, knives, bats or mace
- Destroying your belongings or your home
Different Forms of Domestic Violence
Sexual Abuse
Sexual activity that occurs without willing, active, unimpaired consent, such as unwanted sexual touch, sexual assault, rape, or tampering with contraceptives.
Emotional Abuse
Non-physical damaging behaviors like threats, insults, screaming, constant monitoring, or isolation.
Stalking
Being repeatedly watched, followed, monitored, or harassed. Stalking can occur online or in person and can include unwanted gifts.
Physical Abuse
Any intentional use of physical touch to cause fear, injury, or assert control, such as hitting, shoving, and strangling.
Financial Abuse
Exerting power and control over a partner though their finances, such as taking or hiding money, or preventing a partner from earning money.
Digital Abuse
Using technology to bully, stalk, threaten, or intimidate a partner using texting, social media, email, tracking software, etc.
National Resources
Contact Love Is Respect if you want to talk to someone, need advice about your relationship or a loved one’s relationship, or if you have legal questions.
www.loveisrespect.org | 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 | text “loveis” to 22522
The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides lifesaving tools and immediate support to enable victims to find safety and live free from abuse. Call if you want more resources or information, or if you are questioning unhealthy aspects of your relationships.
www.thehotline.org | 1-800-799-7233
The One Love Foundation has a “My Plan” app that helps you determine if a relationship is unsafe, and it helps create the best action plan by weighing an individual’s unique characteristics. Additionally, a friend or family member can use this app to assess the danger of a loved one.
www.joinonelove.org | Look for the app in the app store: www.joinonelove/org/my_plan_app
New Hampshire Resources
We are a team of dedicated individuals working toward a violence-free Monadnock Region. In addition to offering crisis intervention services, we have a dedicated prevention education team. Our direct services staff includes a full-time Family Violence Prevention Specialist, Shelter Advocate, Roving Advocate in Peterborough and Jaffrey, and a Housing First Advocate. We serve all of Cheshire County and 14 towns in western Hillsborough County. Our crisis hotline is answered 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by staff and trained volunteers. We offer crisis intervention and peer counseling in person and over the phone to survivors of domestic and sexual violence. We also provide emotional support, information about options and resources, assistance with problem solving, safety planning, and referrals.
www.mcvprevention.org | (603) 352-3782 or 1 (888) 511-6287
The New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence creates safe and just communities through advocacy, prevention, and empowerment of anyone affected by sexual violence, domestic violence, stalking and human trafficking.
www.nhcadsv.org | 1 (866) 644-3574
603 Legal Aid provides free civil legal help to low-income people and does not charge clients for legal services. The attorneys in this program provide legal advice by telephone in areas of family law, housing, benefits and welfare, and will hear your problem and make appropriate referrals if necessary.
nhlegalaid.org | (800) 639-5290 or (603) 224-3333
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there is help.
MCVP Advocates are available 24-hours a day. Call our confidential crisis line at (603) 352-3782 or 1 (888) 511-6287. Make sure to erase your call and browser history in case your phone and/or computer are being monitored.
For more on how to be supportive of a family member, teen or adult child, or friend that is experiencing
domestic violence, visit our page on the topic here: Showing Support for Domestic Violence Survivors
